Hope

Saturday 30th January, 2021

A phrase that has resonated in me all day is ' the uncontrolled monkey in the mind'. It is a phrase used by Yongey Rinpoche in his book 'In love with the World', which I am currently reading. It is a very compact book and I am finding it difficult to absorb. Also difficult to absorb has been the latest podcast by Spencer Klavan entitled ' The beginning of the end'. It relates to the death of the Republic of Rome in 130BC and thereon. He has declared himself an arch Conservative yet speaks to all. He speaks of the unrest in the USA and looks to history, to the wisdom of the past. There are not solutions there but scenarios and parallels from which we could learn. He speaks of anacycosis which is how patterns of history and fate seem to repeat and show archetypes. He speaks of how in 130BC Roman rose up against Roman, how violence began the downfall of the Republic. His major point is that we are unable to wind the clock back to solve problems, that it is impossible to undo the injustices of the past and how we need ever to move forward accepting the past but learning from it. His podcast (episode 8) was dense also.

Interestingly the other thought I have held today is from Rinpoche: ' we are so used to identifying with ideas of who we are, and merging our identities with people and places, and with objects such as cars and houses, that the experience of the natural mind liberated from all this familiar matter can be frightening'. It is certainly not a comfort zone. I am simply embroiled in it and searching for what truly is and relishing it all, yet overwhelmed. Just to keep calm, to breathe, to let the awareness happen and see where it goes is an experience of worth.

Daily life goes on. I was up and out of the house to collect a newspaper fairly early fearing snow or sleet. Sleet did come at one point but then the day turned in to a sunny one. I had a second walk and took my grabber with me. The pavements were icy and slippery so not many were out so somehow it felt more beautiful. The thin layer of snow on the fields and paths and the thin ice on the ponds were magical. Sadly rubbish was still visible but it is my new mission!

At 10.40am I started my hour of observation of the garden for the RSPB Big Garden bird count. I had put out two fatballs yesterday but no bird had gone near. In the hour I sat at the window, with a newspaper I admit, only two blackbirds came. I counted them in my poll but feel a mild cheat as they were on the garden wall facing next door whence they had come and whither they flew later. Yet it is our garden wall so.... Anyway I informed the RSPB who sent back an automatic thank you and how wonderful to have helped! I shall try again tomorrow.

Otherwise I have been writing a letter in response to a friend's which is full of rage and political insights, comments and much else which causes him angst and frustration. We have corresponded for years and I relish his views. Both of us feel it is a catharsis and it makes one focus and concentrate one's thoughts and ideas. It has also a critic to reply!

Otherwise the Telegraph! Oh dear, the row over the vaccine and the EU, the row over Wall Street traders and short selling, the opinions of Mr Musk and on and on. As Rinpoche argues it is all passing. Yes, Spencer tells me to hope, Rinpoche tells me to hope, the vaccine tells me to hope, my faith tells me to hope....so hope I do.