'A good life is it's own reward...'

Sunday 9th August, 2020

It just goes on, one makes the most of it. One does one's best or hopes one does. Even though it just goes on it is important to review what is going on. First one's life. Here I have the mantra of Plato...'a good life is its own reward. If one can live with oneself, with what one does, if one can get up each morning with a feeling that it is good to be alive, then one is on the right road.' 

I have chosen to try to live by the Commandment of love. I am constantly trying to fathom what is the loving thing to do and I know I fail. Yet love makes me forgive myself and try again. Yes, I know I deliberately follow wrong desires and paths at times but then I 'come to myself' and try again. 

The starting again is always in the now, the present moment. I read this morning about the example of the moment. A man goes out to a meal. He looks forward to it. He goes with his beloved wife. When he gets to the restaurant he notices that he gets impatient with the speed of the service. Then the food comes and he bolts it as hungry. Then he wants to go home as mildy bored and tired. He has not savoured any of the occasion, he has not appreciated his wife, the tastes of the food, the ambience of the restaurant nor has he allowed himself to slow down and enjoy the time it takes to get served. He is simply moving on, moving forward to the next thing without noting the moments he is living. Snap...same with me. Am I simply rushing insensitively through life?

So today...I was grateful for sleeping well. 

I streamed Mass from Ireland and got enraged that the wifi caused problems of reception. The sermon was about holding fast to faith whatever the hell one suffers...a subject about which I am very sensitive at present. I was furious to miss part of it. My patience was not good. I did not savour what I did hear. 

Breakfast was toast, tea and marmalade. Sadly I guzzled the food but then recalled the story and tried to taste the marmalade. Then coffee and that I did savour and appreciate.

In to the garden. I looked over the sea wall, relished the sun and cool breeze but did not hold either for long as driven to look to my courgettes. Three were rotting....none yet large enough to pick. The blame game in my mind started..the soil, the lack of sun, not enough feed, bad plants.... Stop, I actually said to myself. So again I looked over the wall and watched the Tay flow by.

I shall soon be off for my daily stroll. Yes stroll not route march.

I shall walk with some news reports in mind: the good, the bad and weave them in to the appreciation of my walk, my viewing of the ancient parkland and the vistas across to Angus and Perthshire. 

I will keep trying and keep trying to try or even trying to try to try. The good life is worth it and as the story finally concluded the man in the restaurant had dishonoured the animals and vegetables he had eaten, the cook who had prepared them, his wife and finally himself. 

What more can we do but try?