Aloneness...

Friday 18th September, 2020

Autumn is certainly coming rapidly, I feel. The sun rose five minutes later than yesterday and the sun set a bit earlier, or so it has felt, so the days shorten. I got up before 6am, patted the dog and let her out, made a coffee and then went to the hen coop with their food. Again the two hens, and I am growing so fond of them and getting to know their antics, rocketed out. Today they seemed less interested in the food than usual. Their attention after some pecking seemed to be diverted. So I picked up some of the food and took it back with me to the house. I gave it to them later.

I waited for the sun to appear and had a second coffee. Then I sat, watched the miracle and awesome kaleidoscope of the sun rise, lay on my bed and tried to be still. The dog came and nudged me with the sign I am learning to interpret...I am hungry, time for food. So I did as I was expected to do because the dog has very expressive eyes and knows how to manipulate me.

By 8am the tortoise had appeared, I had spread cucumber and dandelions and fresh lettuce before her/him. I watched the beginning of the munching process. Then to walk the dog. All as ever until midday when I had just emptied the bin in the  kitchen to take up the drive to put in the main dustbin, which is collected on Mondays. Then an old friend appeared and I was in for a great 7 hours of distanced conversation outside in the fresh air.

I did leave my friend, who had brought sugar and jam jars for my jelly making, at 4pm to walk the dog. On the walk I saw a whole flock of Canada geese and two mature swans. I passed a laden damson tree and did not pick or eat any. A buzzard was orbiting one field but moved on serenely. The wind was getting up and by 6pm I was cold from sitting outside. I did note a windhover which is a stunning marvel. It hovered in a fierce breeze without being ruffled and my friend mentioned Gerard Manley Hopkins's poem of that title. I do not recall the exact words but I recall the way Hopkins used the bird as a powerful call to appreciating beauty.

I love my aloneness but I also love and appreciate friendship and conversation with friends. Just to feel relaxed and at ease and to share a meal and to talk without pretence and with a resonance of feeling: what a privilege.

I write this late...the chickens are re-cooped, the dog given her treat and in her basket, the tortoise did not re-appear, the Pygmy goat, I noted, hogged the little shed in the field and the sheep seemed to be part of a pastoral scene ever munching. I am so fortunate to have a comfortable bed, a light by it, a good book to read and to have had such a special day. If only all people could be so privileged.