Being human

Monday 14th December, 2020

So the news is dominated by Brexit, tier 3 for London, by discussions over Covid rise and fall and Christmas relaxations. Not much mention of continuing wars and abductions and hunger and human rights abuse. Somehow I have gotten too concerned with the negative and perhaps it is clouding my mind and life. Last night I picked up again Rachel Clark's "Dear Life" and re read the frontispiece quotation:

' Tell me, what is it you plan to do

With your one wild and precious life?'

It is a quotation from Mary Oliver's House of Light.

So today I have bucked my own trend. I drove to Dundee to see my guru. We met legally and in all ways sensibly in a cafe near his home. It was so good just to see him and his wife. They are both committed Christians, not to a particular sect or tradition but to Christ Himself. We had over two hours together pondering the anxiety we have over much, wondering how to trust and to live that trust, over prayer and also telling stories of remarkable events and people. As ever I came away filled with persistence.

I then shopped, something I have not done for ages in a serious way. I felt I needed to buy some coffee, some beef ribs and some other groceries. I also spotted a Southwold beer which I know a friend enjoys. I nearly fainted at the cost of it all. I was unaware at how much prices have risen. The ordinary bottle size of the beer cost £3.50! No wonder food banks are under siege in parts of Dundee. No wonder people are concerned over the outcome of Covid on jobs, rents and prospects. No wonder there is much anxiety over Brexit deal or no deal! On I went to TKMaxx. It is, I am told, a discounted store. There were some lovely things but again I was surprised at the prices. A small bottle of truffle infused oil was £7.99 on which it was stated that the RRP was £15.99. Himalayan salt was reduced to £4.99 ( I noted again and again the 99p on prices! ) and Italian pasta was in the same vein. Hey ho!

It was interesting to note that the foot fall in Dundee was much lower than usual and that masks were worn by most. Sanitisers, distances, shop assistants controlling foot flow were in evidence. It is a brave new world.

It was nice to be out and about amongst people and I was grateful not to hear Jingle Bells or too much canned music. I came across 6 beggars. Each one I offered sandwiches or something to eat. Those who said yes had them plus £2 as I felt they were genuine. I hate being judgemental like that, those who said they were fine got £1. I feel mean but it is my way of coping with the increase in demand. I still cringe daily as appeals come through the door...this morning the Salvation Army and MacMillan Nurses.

I spoke to my guru about these things and he says he gives direct never through a formal Charity as he hates the salaries of the CEOs etc. "As with Jesus I go direct not via an institution". I happen to know he funds the salary of a cancer researcher direct.

I returned home. I was greeted with the news that a new strain of Covid may be responsible for the fast spreading of the virus infection rate at present. What am I going to do with my precious life....a question I will ask daily. I will not cower or be fearful, I will live it as best I can and not allow anxiety to lessen the wildness. Or at least I will try but I remain human.