Contact is important

Wednesday 24th February, 2021

A sultry day and one where the chance of rain was supposedly minimal. I decided on muesli and sourdough bread for breakfast...the former for bowel movement!! Both delicious and lunch consisted of an apple and banana. I shall have an early supper and much coffee until then to stave off hunger.

I received a few letters one of which was from an old pupil now sectioned and permanently hospitalised. It was a coherent letter and spoke of the friends he knew from school days who loyally contact him and even used to visit. He misses their visits. I was impressed by his active attempts to normalise as in yoga, painting and AA meetings. He also cooks. Yet most powerful is the fact that he spends many hours each day in meditation and this is discussed with his analyst. I feel so feeble in comparison for he is focussed and active. I am easily distracted and not good at self discipline, which he has in abundance.

Another letter came from an old school mate who has appalling spinal collapse and is waiting for surgery and has been for some time. Also his wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer about 18 months ago and given a year to live. She is still alive but some how it is as if the sword of Damaclese hangs over them. Yet they remain positive and determined to live life fully. Sadly the Covid restrictions mean they, and she in particular, cannot see family and friends. Vicariously I felt their suffering.

At 11.15 I was down to the bread offer at the localCommunity Centre. As I have said before it is out of date or near the use by date bread and sent to the local Centre. The sourdough bread no one wants so I took what was there and gave a donation. Sadly the restrictions up here have made people reluctant to collect the offerings which are free. Yet good people do deliver the tins and flour and oats and other goodies which are generously donated by local shops.

At 12.15 I went for a walk with my litter grabber. It was incredibly windy and not many were out. At one point I got drizzled on but enjoyed the exertion. On returning home I decided to watch a Ben Affleck thriller movie on Sky. As always I found it an interesting take on marriage, loyalty and subterfuge. What was particularly strange was that some of the situations in the film I have seen mirrored in 'real' life or is it viceversa?

Now I am about to write to my old pupil, my old school friend and also to a house bound lady of 98 who writes often and sends me a mass of cuttings and articles as well as her own doodles and drawings. She tells me I keep her focussed. Well, she and others keep me sensitive to what is possible and make me appreciate all that I have. In a mental hospital and positive; house bound, 98 and full of energetic life; terminally ill yet determined to live life fully even in lockdown. Humans can be remarkable and we can and should learn from each other.