Emmaus

Thursday 8th April, 2021

A gale is blowing still. This must be the fifth day of it and it causes a mild headache and it makes walking more of an effort than usual. Indeed it takes the fun out of the walk.

The day started well with a walk in to the village to attend Mass. The Gospel was of Jesus appearing to his disciples and eating a bit of fish and showing them his hands and his side. He was real, a physical presence even though the disciples walking to Emmaus had not recognised him. It is all a mystery. I had an email from an ex pupil who is seeking faith. He wants to believe or at least to ponder the real possibility. As he notes: " if God exists it is the most essential matter and it seems foolish not explore the idea". He has been busy selling his flat, moving out of London to Herefordshire and searching for an old house to renovate. He is busy and says he will reconnect when the 'paperwork and the bureaucrats and the bankers and lawyers and estate agents have gotten out of my hair'. Sometimes I wonder about the hierarchy of heaven: cherubs, seraphim, angels, archangels let alone saints, apostles, disciples, scribes and other such! We do like people to know their place!!

After Mass I headed to the Community Centre and got hold of French baguettes and two Danish pastries about to be thrown away. So I had them for lunch.

The heavy lunch and the gale force winds made my afternoon walk less than enjoyable. The grabber filled two bags with litter which did please me. I met two regulars who bemoaned the wind. On my return I popped in to the library and across the barrier was given two detective novels. More talk of the gales and stories of fallen trees and beached boats and stormed tossed waves breaking on Tayport and St Andrews.

Back home I had a letter waiting. A friend's husband has had a heart attack and she is having to go back in to hospital as her surgery about four weeks ago has left some scar and problem. I do not quite understand it but she is worried.

I wrote a letter to a friend quoting Rilke and the need to learn how to turn negatives in to positives. Isolation and solitude can be vehicles for self discovery. Anxiety and fear can be vehicles for personal development. All that is needed is to confront directly what ever is the case. My thought was of seeing Jesus eating fish and showing me his hands and side. What would one do?