FATHER'S DAY

Father's Day. Sunday 21st June, 2020

I never know how steeped in tradition are such celebrations as Mother's Day and Father's Day. I am a little cynical and fear that they have been heavily commercialised and lost any of their early meaning and cause for celebration.

Today I do rejoice that I had such a remarkable Father. Although brought up in a very Victorian and brittle mannered household he had a deep love, often unexpressed in word or gesture, for his family. Most powerfully for me he was a man of total integrity. He never did anything dishonest, dishonourable or mean or under hand. There are many incidents to recall but most special for me was a few days before he died. I visited him in the London Middlesex Hospital. At one point he needed the bathroom and no nurse was available. It was a palaver. As we shuffled with him leaning on my arm and with gadgets galore he squeezed my hand and said ' you are a wonderful son'. That has been my abiding memory. He was not a man of physical affection nor of such words. To me that was amazing and priceless.

So I have a wonderful image of Fatherhood.

Yet I recall a young woman once coming to see me to discuss religion. At some point I referred to the prayer given in the Gospels by Jesus. He had been asked by his disciples to teach them to pray. The prayer began 'Our Father'... As I mentioned those opening words the woman held up her hands: "No way," she said "My Father raped and abused me...". What was her image of Fatherhood? What I had always seen as an intimate affectionate appellation of God to her was demonic.

I recall a friend of mine whose girlfriend became pregnant. He offered to adopt the child as did his parents. She refused. A Court case allowed her the right to choose and the baby was aborted. He still says to me 'what sort of a Father am I to allow my child to be murdered?'

We have such varying experiences and images of Fatherhood. Many are distraught that God is called Father, that ordained priests are often referred to as Father and they ask 'what of the feminine, of Motherhood in the Godhead'? Patriarchal Society, the dominance of Man, the Male and much else in our Culture is, for many, a bias, an injustice, a discrimination. Yet I also have a friend who is a member of 'Fathers for Justice'.

It is a mixed up world. How do we resolve these real issues? First and foremost with love, with the power of listening, with the heart of compassion and understanding.