Justice is a universal of all cultures

Saturday 16th May, 2020.

"Justice is a universal of all cultures. It is a tightrope that man walks, between his desire to fulfil his wishes, and his acknowledgement of social responsibility". Bronowski goes on to claim that man aspires to both a solitary and a social life: ' a social solitary. And to me that is a unique biological feature'. 

Personally I empathise with his. I have known very social beings, unable to cope with being alone or being in silence, ever active and doing rather than just being. I have also known the hermit, the recluse, the 'monos', the monk alone in Community. 

I thought on these things as I was transported by Internet to Buckfast Abbey, a Benedictine Monastic Community in Devon and to their streamed liturgy. The beautiful church building, the powerful ritual, the Plain Chant and the words of the service filled me with nostalgia and longing. I could so easily have wallowed in the nostalgia returning to my youth, returning to the Benedictine Community I knew so well, returning to those halcyon days when the sun shone, the Chant elevated the senses not only to the beauty of nature around but to something beyond, something which seemed the essence of that beauty. I almost indulged in an unreality, in a self pity, in a false imagination of perfection. Yes, there was beauty. Yes, the chant seemed to have a divine resonance. Yes, there were glorious days but it was not perfect. So I ground myself back in to the reality of now. Like T.S.Eliot I believe time passed is contained in time present so the now, even unconsciously, contains the joys and sorrows, the beauty and the ugliness, the good and the bad of my life of the then. Memories abound. Yet not all is remembered even though all life is recorded somehow in what is the present me. 

I delight in recalling happy times and I like to suppress the unhappy ones. My Mother, my Father, my brother are dead yet they are still alive and influence me in my memory. I would have it no other way but I will not be false to them. 

There are times when the present is painful. In fact recently a close friend died and I grieve. It helps me to deal with that grief recalling our laughter together, our banter, fun, discussions and socialising. Yet I know he would not want me to paint him as of unblemished character: he was too good, too real for such falsity. 

The ritual and especially the Gregorian chant of Buckfast Abbey evoked memories but memories which will help me to be myself now. I have had 70 wonderful years of life with ups and downs and I hanker, at times, for more physical and mental agility, for friends and times which have passed but I also know that I do not wish to lessen the vitality of life as it is for me in this present moment. Of course I can and do let the chant work on me. It fills me now with longing for peace, forgiveness, for an ethereal presence, for holiness and integrity. It is not a nostalgic moment but rather a spur to my constant ever present search for love...as at 12.07 on Saturday 16th May, 2020, as I write. 

No baggage, no rose tinted glasses, no other than me, the aspirant of both the social and solitary life. Strangely I believe one can have one's cake and eat it...both now.