Martyrs come in many forms

St Stanislaus Szczepanow. Thursday 7th May, 2020

I noted it was the feast day of St Stanislaus so I googled him. I was delighted to read this quotation attributed to him: "Have the courage to face a difficulty lest it kick you harder than you bargain for". Another attributed to him was : "To believe with certainty we must begin with doubting."

After an hour or so it dawned on me that I had googled the wrong Saint Stanislaus but the quotations are so worthwhile that I leave them.

I had a letter this morning from my local NHS hospital from the Urologist Consultant. I am on a list for an operation but it would seem that it will be more than a year, even two, before it is performed. This means I must be prepared to have a catheter as part of my life.

Twelve weeks so far but now longer. Naturally I was saddened and I am an impatient man but I realise how fortunate I am.

It is not an emergency; there is an excellent health service where I live and they have been first rate and I am on a list, so not forgotten.

Now to face life as it is not as I wish it to be. I am not facing martyrdom like St Stanislaus. I am, like all of us, aware that death is part of life and that life must be lived fully now in the reality in which I find myself.

Far more concerning to me was an email reminding me of a friend's impending 82nd birthday.

He is in a residential care home and has been there two years. He suffers dementia and is unable to care for himself. He is a truly remarkable man. He had been an international Opera singer performing across the world. He then became a Minister of the Church of Scotland. His singing voice is superb. His ministry was known by its excellent sermons and his deep pastoral care. 

I would visit his cottage and listen to his singing especially Schubert whom he loved. We had long talks and discussions about spirituality, prayer, the numinous and morality. I found him to be a great confessor and director.

I relished our meetings and I think they were symbiotic and life enhancing for us both. I have visited often in the Care Home but it has of late been stopped. When I used to go even though his memory was deteriorating speedily he could still sing Schubert by heart and his advice was ever succinct and to the point. At one stage he had ministered in Jura and written a scholarly book on its language, myths, legends and customs. A truly remarkable man. He also wrote a witty and amusing autobiography. 

The email reminded me of his upcoming birthday on the 14th May. All I wish to do is see him and hug him and make him realise what a remarkable force he has been in my life.

He is isolated and I am isolated.

I will probably get myself a cake and a candle and ponder him and pray for him and his beloveds. It will be a small ritual to ease the pain. 

Of course I miss so many not only the living but also the dead.

That is life. I am grateful and privileged to have had such friends and influences.

Now to endure. 

Can I stretch a point and say we are all some type of martyr, not quite in St Stanislaus's league, to the battle against this virus?

We are bearing a very minor cross although some are finding it a very heavy burden.

We must have the courage to face this difficulty or else it will overwhelm us.

We must show that courage in living as fully as we are able now, in these circumstances.

I believe with certainty that we will come through stronger.

#courage #difficulties #lockdown #milestones #martyrs #friendship #mentor #influence

#birthdays