Pondering on a Sunday...

Sunday 28th June, 2020

I was a little frightened last night as I went to bed. I've been told to rest so as to stop some unexplained periodic bleeding associated with my catheter. I thought I'd been sensible but there was a tranche of blood yesterday evening. I donned a pair of those incontinent pants which make me realise I am not invincible and make me feel decrepit and senile, yet also make me laugh! 'Just lie still' was the initial advice and call a doctor if it turns into an emergency! It is now the week end so as 'sod's law' would have it things felt wrong with the catheter. I hate to contact out of hours services. So I resolved to spend the night and see what happened. I ate a haggis and beef burger and watched an Italian detective story on television. Glorious and I was resting and still.

This morning after a goodish night the bleeding had stopped. So I have spent the day so far just pottering. I will contact possibly a few authorities tomorrow but may wait until my pre operation assessment session on Tuesday at the hospital. I feel so well, just irritated that I can't do physically what I want to do. My walk yesterday may have started the bleeding. So again 'sod's law' arises as I am told to take exercise before the operation but if I do.....!

For today I put it all aside. I've had an easy day as I sit to write this. 8.30am streaming a service from Castlebar, County Mayo, Ireland. Wonderfully eccentric because the celebrant was an American with a near perfect Dixie accent. The first reader had such a thick Irish brogue I had difficulty understanding but fortunately knew the text. The second reader has a lovely lilt. The sermon on generosity and focus was higgledy piggledy but made the point that preferring nothing to God ( I prefer to say love) made all things work appositely.

Then breakfast of home baked soda bread and home made marmalade and a little greed.

Finally inbetween gentle showers I went in to the garden to spray the yellowing leaves of my courgettes, squash  and rhubarb. A friend has a magic potion and had brought over a spray with it in. Sadly the sprayer was hard to use as too little potion in it. When tilted to get to the very low on the ground leaves the spray tube was not immersed in the actual potion solution, so no spray. But what an experience. I wanted to get rid of the little bugs etc on the leaves before spraying. When searching for them I noticed so much more. The yellows, browns, oranges and greens of the leaves were beautiful. The shape and texture of the leaves were also fascinating and unique. Down at that low level I noticed the purple, orange, yellow and white flowers sprouting in the grass, which we now only cut once a month. The bees were in high activity and more bugs and more shapes and textures and more colours. Then the long grasses and their swaying and their shapes and elegance and movements...it was all stunning. This little garden is a universe to many creatures and fauns and flora. Was it Auden who wrote be careful where you tread for you tread on my dreams? Well, tread carefully in the garden for you may destroy many homes.

It is mid afternoon and I am about to send this and try for a walk. Perhaps I'll notice other universes along the way. One joy I intend to relish is the large patch of wild fox gloves down near the bank of the Tay. Last visit I noticed the throng of bumble bees disappearing in and out of individual flowers. It was a conjuring trick as they landed, crawled up the flower leaving only a moving outline of themselves to the observer. Then out they would come and fly to the next ' tube of delight' as a late Aunt of mine called the fox glove flowers.

Pottering is a delight. Observing a privilege. Having health is the gift of gifts.