Ponderings

Sunday 7th March, 2021

One looks at oneself sometimes and notes that one can be very quirky. Today has been a celebration for me of football. I do not enjoy the sport but because I had a hugely loved uncle who was a life time supporter of Ipswich Town and never wavered and always supported them through bad, very bad and occasionally good times I picked up an enthusiasm. I used, when in England, to support the Canaries, Norwich Town and much loved Delia Smith, whom I once met at a dinner party. She was huge fun, loved good wines and was a voluble supporter of a theory of mine against a journalist who was there! Now I am in Scotland I support Dundee United, not Dundee but Dundee United. They were in the second division but rose to the first this year. Yesterday they drew their game with the mighty and supposedly invincible Celtic. In this way they allowed Rangers to win the Scottish Cup and stop Celtic winning it for the tenth time in succession. Silly really but fun!

I streamed Mass from Canada this morning. It had the Gospel story of Jesus driving out the money lenders in the Temple. Also a reading from St Paul telling us we are temples of the Holy Spirit. A lively sermon about our ways of life followed and I pondered how we are duty bound to treat our bodies, minds and selves in a certain way, worthy of being such a temple. Thus I spent a little time looking at my laziness physically, my mental indolence and my inability to discipline my thoughts. Also exercise, diet, mental cleansing and all else comes in to this equation. Thus the podcast, Episode 20, of Young Heretics fitted well in to this it was about Julian of Norwich, a mystic of the 14th century. It was a time of pandemic, the Black Death which caused the death in agony of half the population of England. It was a hellish time and the podcaster emphasised that the suffering and deaths of that time were, as they often are, a time of spiritual and intellectual growth for the people have to face reality, the reality of life. He went on to speak of our time as one where we are ' fat and happy and protected from Reality'. This protection, even in this pandemic which is so minor compared to diseases then and now in parts of the world, makes us play self indulgent word games not linked to Reality. He spoke of the 'meaningless rhetoric' of the academic world when there is no real answer to real suffering for there is no real suffering. Julian called on God for suffering as a way to get closer to Him and to the poor. This was a true faith which looked for true consolation and meaning to life. Now we are superficial and dandies in an artificial world. To Julian suffering is the core of earthly experience which is a mixture of joy and pain. One has to go beyond the senses, the feelings, that which we see and sense. Julian was part of the tradition of the artistic expression of what we cannot sense, as were such writers from Dante to C.S.Lewis. They do not have the authority of scripture but this artistry, this writing, these experiences of mystical insight feed the soul. As, to me, do so many stories from Narnia to the Hobbits.

So once again I was plunged in to the world of pondering suffering and pain which seems so to obsess me. I would like to have heard the Pope's sermons in Iraq because he too was speaking on suffering, conflict, persecution and the way of martyrdom in all Faiths and none. Sadly his Masses were not streamed.

My walk was wondrous. I took yesterday's walk further and up in to Fife above the villages of Newport, Tayport and Wormit I went. It was glorious. Few people, little noise and a set of vistas to drool over. Yes, I had my litter grabber and sadly there was litter. As I descended to the dual carriage way which goes from the Tay road bridge onward to St. Andrews or Edinburgh so I came in to a super abundance of litter. My Tesco bag was full...how do Pepsi cans and Irn bru plastic bottles and cider bottles get dumped in the middle of beautiful distant countryside. I accept the ghastly dog pooh bags from lazy dog walkers but Heineken cans and empty wine bottles? Fortunately I came across one of those big blue bin liners and I grabbed it and filled it within two hundred yards. So I muttered. I went on to the local shop and bought myself two steak and gravy pies for 62p. I had them both for lunch as I overlooked the Tay sitting opposite Ninewells in Dundee. They are, sadly, still with me, a little heavy on the stomach. Not quite the fasting of Lent!

So after a short siesta I read a little light literature and now I must face a few letters. I still ponder my next move re housing. I am so fortunate not to be suffering and daily I thank God for my privileged life. Yet I do know the hell of many and I try to be with them.