Pudding and rituals

Sunday 6th December, 2020.

I was stirring the 2021 Christmas pudding mix yesterday. It will sit in its own delightful alcoholic mess and soak up all that is good. There is some sort of superstition that one wishes while stirring the mixture. I have a very long line of wishes and also I trust more in hope than wishful thinking. I do like Christmas pudding but my Papa used to moan at the waste of brandy which is warmed, poured over the pudding and lit. He said that if one took a large swig oneself one would not be concerned at the flaming blue flame! Oh what fun we had with our Christmas preparations. Poor Papa staying up all Christmas Eve and early Christmas Day to make sure we were asleep before he crept in to fill our stockings. He would be tiddly on the sherry left for Santa in the fireplace before he could do his task. The carrot for Rudolf got put back in the vegetable box...we knew that as we marked it. The rituals we had were fun except for two. The first was the walk we all were forced to take after our late long luncheon. The other was being dragooned in to sitting down the next day, Boxing Day, to write bread and butter letters to all the aunts, uncles, cousins and godparents and others who had given us presents. We wrote out one and copied it inserting appropriate name changes and gift descriptions. I do recall an uncle being non plussed once when he received a thank you letter for the tea cosy he had sent and he had never before been known as Maisie. All the unwrapped paper had to be stored and ironed for the next year..we were fined pocket money if we messed up the paper. Also string was kept. Then we had a week of eating turkey in a thousand different ways so as not to let the food be wasted. No cream ever survived Christmas lunch itself not did any brandy! Then Mother would start the bargaining. She would pay so much for any unwanted Christmas presents and store them for the Church Christmas bazaar the following year. She had a poker face and a businessman's brain. Various relatives would send suggestions for diets come the New Year. Certain traditional foods such as Brussels sprouts had to be surreptitiously disposed of...fortunately one of our dogs loved them but she became very flatulent and Mama was suspicious.

At the heart of it all was a belief we all held together. Love was what it was about. For those with faith it was the love of God for us. We all believed in the love of each other and we all hoped that love would make the world a better place. It is difficult sometimes to go over the lives and histories of some of those who shared our table and our day but all of them were the best. It was the best of Christmases and the best of families and I had the best of parents and brothers. What a privilege.

This afternoon the wrapping of parcels to send to family in Germany happened. 6 hours it took. Then the hysteria when the paper tore and the presents would not fit in to the designated postal box. Perhaps it is time to simplify. I have had two emails from friends who have said that they are not sending cards or gifts but giving the equivalent to a Charity of my choice. So long as there is still a Christmas pudding on the day and some cream and brandy butter I can cope with having nothing else. I will always have my memories and my deepest gratitude for a great family life. What more is needed? Nothing except to love and to show that love in the most apposite way and the way which will bring memories and gratitude.