The Compassionate Mind

St Alphonsus Liguori. Saturday 1st August, 2020

I am reading an extraordinary book ' The Compassionate Mind' by Paul Gilbert. The latest chapter has been on the contrasts and even conflicts of the old mind and the new mind as evolved in mankind. The mindset was and is there for obvious and sensible reasons yet the differences between the alternatives once needed for the world of the hunter gatherer and the new world of bustle, business and global organisations can cause deep problems. The new mind includes the imagination, the ability to reflect on ourselves. An example given of the dangers resonated with me. We imagine a loving relationship but mostly the imagination is of a perfect one, one we desire. However the reality is that all relationships have moments of discord, disagreement, individual idiosyncracies which do not match the image. Consequences flow. So very true to me.

However reality can often be better than the imagination. Yesterday I went out for the day. The weather prophets had spoken of sun and warmth. Indeed it was the first day of sunshine for weeks. I arranged to see friends and go to lunch via forests and beaches. It was utterly marvellous, almost magical and way beyond my imaginings. 

As ever in these lockdown days actually getting in to a car and driving off is itself a huge pleasure and feeling of control and freedom. Lockdown offers much and is an opportunity but getting out was a real pleasure...almost physical. There were quite a few cars and I noticed, sadly, that my impatience and inclination to road rage had only been dormant not destroyed. 

The sun made everything seem to glitter and shine and show of its best. The Fife countryside was a revelation. Hay fields had been cut, corn was ripening, broccoli had been harvested, fruit trees were laden. Life was still on going yet it felt new.

It was the sunshine and the rarity of getting out and visiting friends that made it all so precious, so exceptional. I realised that if denied something it becomes so much more appreciated when indulged. A hungry man appreciates food more than the average men. Health is more precious and appreciated after illness. 

Finally I ended up in the most glorious garden and home of friends. The chatelaine allows much wildness and enjoys her plants and shrubs running rampant. There is a certain discreet control and pruning of overshadowing trees and bushes and weeds which intrude too aggressively. It is the natural feel and look that is sublime. Paths are mown through it. Sculptures adorn it at specific places...the family are all artistic and their works displayed. 

Then the conviviality of breaking bread with friends. The sharing and tasting of good food, the laughter and fun of good conversation, the warmth of good friendship. Kindly the hostess wanted to celebrate my birthday of some weeks ago. She produced a superb lunch with lobster as the 'piece de resistance'. Earlier in the morning we had talked in the Italian garden overlooking miles of Fife countryside of spiritual and artistic things. We spoke of suffering, of hope, of faith in a God we could not fathom. We spoke of the relationship with Him and each other, of how morality is coined and why hell on earth can be so prolific. At times we sat in silence with the sounds of nature reminding us that nothing is static. 

I had a short siesta and read of St John of the Cross and his complete and utter faith and denial of desire for his love of God. Humans are awesome, terrifying  and beautiful and fearful. St John went through hell and whatever happened his faith stood firm. He wrote the most glorious love poetry and mystical insights. He denied himself absolutely for the love of his God. A true lover not in the imagination but in the reality of life. 

As I drove home I noted how my new mind conjured up my failures and inadequacies. Then I recalled the Compassionate Mind. Compassion for all, including oneself. Now to learn to be a true lover myself. Certainly I loved my day.