The Meaning of Prayer

Sunday 7th February, 2021

I had an email this morning from an young friend. She is in her 40s and has two children. Sadly her marriage is over but she is a resilient person. She has started her own business and is ever capable and active and positive. Yet this morning came the email asking me: " do you ever get overwhelmed and dispirited? ". She was asking about prayer and how, when feeling utterly deflated and innately exhausted, to continue to pray. Yes, I do get overwhelmed and yes I like to escape. I do the latter by various means and methods including reading, television, music and eating.

Replying to her I wrote what I think. I wrote that prayer is being oneself. Meditation, contemplation etc are all formulae and methods but prayer is, I contend, being open to what is now. Some harassed Mother prays as she tries to love her children and cope, so the business man losing his business prays as he seeks ways to save it, thus an addict prays as he trembles and frets and seeks his solace, so a frightened and fear ridden person prays as they face the horror of the moment, so the pious lady prays as she rattles her beads on the rosary, the farmer prays as he copes with his loneliness and mental anxiety, the monk prays as he sings his psalms distractedly thinking of the next meal, the abused victim prays as she or he quakes in terror and dreams of revenge and escape, so the Mother of a dying child prays as she feels the overwhelming despair of the situation, the church goer prays as she kneels in her attempt to be good, so the sinner prays as he is drawn ineluctably to his sin...yes, prayer is just living or in the suicide case in taking the plunge to end the hell. My old Catechism said prayer was the raising of the heart and mind to God. What if one is so overwhelmed that you cannot do that? Surely the Creator of each and every person does it for one?

I wonder what she will think of that reply?

It was sleeting when I woke. My landlady said it would snow all day and that the beast from the east, mark2, was here until Thursday. Well after breakfast I went in to my little retreat centre and started to read "The Ragamuffin gospel" sent by my guru. I will comment on it some other time. As ever I find myself with four books on the go. I finished 'The poet and the murderer' about forgery and deceit and once more was horrified by the power of greed and desire. Still, I thought, how many of us and how often do we forge and fake our own emotions and reactions and sentiments?

The sleet stopped for a while at 12.45 so I dashed with my grabber and enjoyed 50 minutes of walking and collecting rubbish and cursing the litter bug and enjoying the trees and the fields covered in a layer of snow. As I neared home a flurry of snow came and I felt almost cleansed.

Back home I had a siesta as I thought of the Wales and Ireland rugby match. I still do not know the result but delight in Scotland's win yesterday against England at Twickenham. I support England, live in Scotland and like the underdog to triumph occasionally! My landlady has been to Lisbon, Paris and Split today. I caught ten minutes of the Split Virtualtrip and much enjoyed it. Stunning views of the Roman walls and Diocletian's Palace and the old city behind the Walls. Such beauty and such history. I shall later go back to the 'Young Heretics' podcast and continue my journey on western Culture. For now I recall Emily Dickinson who was the focus of one of Hoffman's forgeries. These quotations cheered me and I nod sagely!

"Forever is composed of nows".

"Saying nothing sometimes says the most."

"I am out with lanterns looking for myself."

"Truth is so rare, it is a delight to tell it."

These may be the sound bites of a remarkable poet and thereby mildly glib but they do have substance and are worthy of thought. Yet be careful in merely quoting a part. How often do I hear quotations of the Bible used for a particular end and not understood in the whole of the message? How often does one hear of someone speaking of oneself or a deed one has done and knowing it is utterly skewed and inaccurate?

Yes, it can be overwhelming but just go on in the 'nows'.