The Universe

Saturday 10th April, 2021

I arrived slightly late at Mass. The clock in the kitchen is not accurate and it took time to tie my shoe laces! Also I went via a post box instead of directly to the church. Only three people were there but it was, as ever, soothing, prayerful and a time to reflect. I cannot recall the readings which makes me realise I do not concentrate sufficiently. After the Mass I got in to conversation with another parishioner who is some medic at out local hospital in Dundee. I questioned about the roll out of second jabs, the fuss and bother over Astra Zeneca, about the infection rates ( nearly all associated with university students here in Dundee ) and about boosters in the autumn. She had opinions and thoughts. Also I asked about travel and staying with friends. Again she seemed to realise it was all a bit unknown and varied from land to land and date to date. She did say ' we must not presume to know we are safe or be arrogant to the point of foolishness ' but nor should we cower and stop the world going around for ' life is to be lived not survived'.

Then on to buy the newspaper filled with the history, life, stories of the Duke of Edinburgh and with comments on him and by many from the members of his family to Grandees, relations and the world of celebrity. May he rest in peace.

I read some T.S.Eliot, as did the Duke himself supposedly.

" Do I dare

DIsturb the universe?

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which in a minute will reverse ".

As my Mother used to say ' to make God laugh tell Him your plans '. Indeed. I am ever aware that life ends and I am reading of a man who succumbed to dementia. It is from the time of diagnosis and through his diaries it shows his growing confusion and finally the realisation that he no longer knows what he is doing or why. His family published it. So I am resolved to try to live now.

So a walk. Snow and rain were forecast from 14.00 so I set off at 12.15. I took the same route as yesterday and still picked up two bags of litter. But it was lovely. The sun was out, the wind had dropped and the countryside had had another day to develop Spring.

I saw a swallow!

Again I came down on to the Fife Coastal path and bumped in to the coffee van and the long queues and the litter. As I did so the sleet came but only for a moment.

" For I have know them all already, known them all-

Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons ".

At times I fear my life is vacuous yet my faith tells me that is not true. What is true is that I am alive now and will, in time, die. Fine by me and I hope I have the courage to dare to disturb the Universe until then.