Thoughts

Sunday 31st January, 2021

Years ago a monk I loved and admired, Dom Sebastian Moore, said to me that often the question is more important than the answer. Certainly I have realised how vital it is to look, listen and to be prepared to be changed. Yongey Rinpoche's book, In Love with the World, is proving powerful in this respect. He reports his Father's question to each of his children: " what will you do that in the midst of frightening sounds? Or on a crowded reeking train? Or in a terrorist attack, or in war, or, or...in any of life's countless unwanted events: a diagnosis of ill health, a flat tyre, a perception of being slighted, ...Will you maintain a steady mind that can accommodate what you don't want, and actually be of benefit to yourself and others... Or will you implode through fear, anger or loss of control? How do we act when we do not get what we want.."

I know in myself some of the horrendous reactions I have had to such negative circumstances, to challenges, to disappointments.

It so happens that I was sent a YouTube documentary on Antonio Rosmini this morning and I was hugely impressed by his thoughts and ideas, by his writings and his life. In adversity he remained himself. Then I noted on the BBC website the continuing demonstrations in Russia on behalf of Navalny. I am suffused with admiration and feel encouraged eventhough positive results may not be forthcoming. There are courageous, righteous souls who are prepared to sacrifice themselves. What have I done during this pandemic? Have I been able to adjust and still live fully or have I been a constant carper and bemoaner? Reading and looking to the ideas and thoughts of others is such a stimulus. Yes, I still have the monkey in the mind but I hope and look to growth.

I walked after streamed Mass from Canada. The priest gave a daunting sermon on the 'Evil one' and reminded us of the power of evil which is a force not to be dismissed and debunked. More food for thought. The walk with my grabber was lovely. The sun shone and it was still so I felt warm. Many were out and some greeted me with the picker. One very drunk youngish man swayed toward me and whispered in alcoholic fumes " you are a star" and then handed over his empty bottle of grog and thanked me for acting as a dustbin. I love it.

On returning home I was delighted to note a blackbird in the garden as I had been worried by my RSPB participation and counting the day before. I headed for a siesta for I felt aglow and had gotten a delicious chicken and salad sandwich at the local shop reduced from £2.75 to 88p.

As I write the sun is setting in a blaze of ochres, yellows, pinks and purples and blues and maroons and crimsons...a veritable panoply of colour.

Yet my thought as I write has been about the film 'The boy in the stripped pyjamas' which I saw on BBC4 the other night. It has haunted me. How can man be so cruel to man? What would I do in the circumstance of a persecution of the Jews, of anyone? If I lived in Moscow would I be on the streets? Questions...the stuff of living.