What do we desire?

Pope St Peter 5th Celestine.  Tuesday 19th May, 2020

I usually take a short stroll each day. I take it for the exercise. It is not always pleasant physically because of my catheter. It is also quite a hard stroll as I live at the bottom of a steep hill and I puff my way up and semi slide my way down. It is however a joy to get out in to a wider world. I most often aim for a small park, now empty of people, where I have watched the tall beech trees bud and leaf through the last 8 weeks, displaying gorgeous luminous greens. Also the bird population is interesting. Yesterday I watched two young thrush harass their parents for food. A couple of gold finch are there and I have not yet detected their nesting place. Black birds are particularly raucous and high above sea gulls shriek. The blue bells and cow parsley are dominant now with a few dandelions and broom and gorse around the edges of the park. On my stroll I pass a post box, useful as I love writing letters. 

Yesterday I came back on a route I do not often take. It includes passing a car park above which some benches are set. From these benches one overlooks the Tay. The sun was shining, rare of late here, so I sat to soak up vitamin D. I must have sat for half an hour and watched the world go by. Quite a few lorries and cars on the Tay bridge, a few cyclists, a couple of families with small children and about a dozen walkers. Then some joggers and runners. All seemed to be obeying the regulations of Scotland's lock down rules. 

What I noticed was a high percentage of the people who were on their own either plugged in to a sound device of some sort or were visibly carrying and using mobile iPads or phones. One woman came in to my vision from the left, walked the 500 yards or so across my front and disappeared to my right. It must have taken her 2 or 3 minutes. In that time she took out of her pocket and put back in to it her mobile three times, ever searching it.

This morning in the round up of my news gathering on my iPad I came across an article on Josef Salvat. He is an Australian musician about to release his second album. It is called ' Modern Anxiety'. Looking at the article I picked up several of his comments. He spoke of our 'obsession with phones', 'our constant scrolling on feeds' which resonated with my own thoughts of life today. He noted how ' we know what people are up to all the time'. It seems that after his first album in 2015 he found he needed space. He wondered why he had become a musician, found himself fearful of concerts and gigs, ever found himself criticising and questioning himself, unsure of his ability and popularity. 

Today he noted " you see headline after headline after headline. A lot's true but a lot is speculation. It's putting a lot of pressure on our brain". 

I utterly concur. I try not to be looking at my iPad for news, emails, lectures, gigs, black humour videos, repeat radio programmes and television catch ups yet there is almost a compulsion. It is as if I have to be connected. Connected to what to whom? What do I fear I am missing? What is so vital that I must be in ' the loop'?  Yup...probably modern anxiety. 

I looked to St Peter Celestine and discovered that he was a hermit and monk before being plucked out of obscurity to become the Supreme Pontiff of the Catholic Church in Rome. It seems as if he was incompetent in the role ever seeking silence and simplicity. Finally he was the first Pope ever to resign. In his resignation declaration he wrote: ' desiring a more humble state and a more perfect life, fearing to compromise my conscience and seeing my weaknesses and incapacity..' I resign.

What do we desire? 

#josefsalvat #desire #ipad #vitamind #celestine #rome